• Be independent not clingy
• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner
• Give them time to process feelings and thoughts
• If they are being aloof, distant or arrogant they may be feeling uncomfortable
• Make them feel welcome, but not too intensely or they may doubt your sincerity
• Don't come on like a bulldozer
• Help them avoid their pet peeves: Big parties, other's loud music, overdone emotions, intrusions on their privacy

What's good about being a Five

• they can stand back and observe life objectively
• they can come to a thorough understanding perceiving causes and effects
• they have a sense of integrity, do what is right and are not influenced by social pressure
• they are not caught up in material possessions and status
• they are calm in a crisis

What's difficult about being a Five

• they feel frustrated by putting knowledge into the world slowly
• they feel bad when acting like a know-it-all
• they don't like to be pressured to be with people they don't like
• they resent others with better social skills but less intelligence do better professionally
• they have trouble putting thoughts succinctly

Fives as Children

• spend time alone reading or making collections
• have a few special friends rather than many
• are very bright and curious and do well in school
• have independent minds and often question parents and teachers
• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

Fives as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive and devoted
• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
• may be intolerant of children expressing strong emotions

Source: Adapted from Riso, Don Richard with Russ Hudson, Personality Types:Using the Enneagram for Self Discovery,1996. Houghton Mifflin and Baron, Renee and Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy, 1994, Harper Collins